Forgiveness

Let's face it. We all make mistakes. When we love someone we see them as perfect. Well, guess what, they are not perfect and neither are you. Sometimes your spouse is going to do something that causes you to be hurt, mad, annoyed, etc. Part of truly loving someone is being able to love them despite their faults. When you truly love them you are able to see the best in them and in their intentions. You are able to forgive them.

President James E. Faust shared a beautiful talk in April 2007 titled “The Healing Power of Forgiveness.”  

In this talk he shares these words:

“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds.”

He also shares this touching experience of true forgiveness:

“A 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. Last October he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some unsubstantiated memories. He stormed into the Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up the 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.

This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish but no anger. There was hurt but no hate. Their forgiveness was immediate. Collectively they began to reach out to the milkman’s suffering family. As the milkman’s family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, “We will forgive you.”1 Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love. About half of the mourners at the milkman’s funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman’s family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis” (Faust, 2007).

The power of love and forgiveness brought peace to this community during a time that could have easily been full of hatred and anger.

In my personal life, I have experienced forgiveness many times with Nate. I have a tendency to mess up and say dumb things. I cannot even think of a specific example because I have done it so much. Sometimes I have no idea why Nate chooses to put up with me. But, no matter how many times I mess up or do something crazy, Nate forgives me and tells me he loves me many more times over. True love is unconditional and does not hold onto grudges or negative feelings. The healing power of forgiveness is not just for the person who is the recipient of the wrong doing, it is also for the person who has messed up. They need your forgiveness in order to heal and move on. This can be for big things like the Amish community or small things like I talked about in my own relationship.

Allow the healing power of forgiveness to come into your marriage. Pray for help in seeing your spouse as Heavenly Father sees them. Choose to replace negative feelings with feelings of love and forgiveness. In return, your spouse will do the same for you. A mutual feeling of unconditional love will enter into your relationship and bring you more joy than you can imagine.

References

Faust, J. E. (2007, April). The Healing Power of Forgiveness. Retrieved from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/the-healing-power-of-forgiveness?lang=eng