4 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Significant Other

In America, there is one divorce about every 36 seconds. It is common knowledge that around 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. The more times you have been married, the higher the percentage of divorce gets, as you can see in the table below. These statistics are basically telling us that about half of all marriages are doomed to end in divorce. That is not a happy thought, especially for someone like me, who is getting married in 2 months.

Let's hold off on the depressing divorce statistics for a moment and have story time! :) 

The rest of what I am going to write will make more sense if you know a bit about the past couple years of my life and about the amazing guy who changed my life.

I met Nate in May 2013. I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I was assigned to serve in his hometown. I don't remember much about him from that time. When I completed my missionary service and returned home to California in August 2014 we became friends on Facebook. He sent me a Facebook message and our relationship grew from there. I was convinced we should just be friends, but with the persistence from Nate and Heavenly Father, that changed and we began our long distance relationship on September 14, 2014.

Our situation has been hard to say the least. Nate is in Oregon working and I am in Idaho at school. We have had to rely on Skype, cell phones, and much too short visits between my semesters and during holiday breaks. On June 14th we will have been together for 21 months. Using an average of 30 days per month, that is 610 days. The total number of days we have spent physically together is about 42 (give or take some half or partial days due to travel time or my bad math or memory on exact days).

That means we have spent about 93% of our relationship in different states.

NINETY....THREE...PERCENT

Needless to say, it has been hard. By far the hardest thing I have ever gone through. We have had our ups and our downs and everything in between. We have gone through everything that had every reason to tear us apart and come out stronger and closer together.

I am finally, FINALLY about to be done with school, which means we are so incredibly close to being together forever! And done with this stupid distance thing. We are getting married August 13, 2016 and I do not think it is possible to feel more excited!

This picture means so much to me. This ring means so much to me. This man means so much to me! I cannot believe how lucky I am :)

Okay, back to divorce (gear shift....I know)

Nate and I refuse to even say the word. If it ever comes up we gasp in horror and it has been named "the D word". It is simply not an option for us. We have not come this far and been through this much for a marriage that we expect to even have the possibility of ending.

Nobody is perfect, and we are all open to trials and hardships that can easily turn into becoming one of those 50% of marriages that end in divorce. I think we can all agree that is not a desirable outcome, so what can we do to prevent that? Obviously things happen, but there are some things that you can do to strengthen your relationship to withstand the trials that will come. I named my blog for a reason. It truly is all about love and hard work. If you love someone deep enough, you are willing to work and do whatever it takes to keep that love, and in the end your love grows deeper.

Here are my 4 simple ways to strengthen your relationship with your significant other:

1. "I love you"

If you love someone, tell them! And tell them often. I cannot tell you how many times Nate or I have said "I love you" and instantly things feel at least a tiny bit better. It's never a surprise to hear it, but as human beings we need and crave that constant reminder and reassurance that what we are doing is good and worth it.

2. It's okay to not be fine

This one's for the ladies. We are all guilty of the generic and non true response of "I'm fine" or "It's fine". If something is not fine, tell him! Or at least explain yourself further. You will feel better and everyone will benefit if you resist putting even the tiniest wall up, I promise.

3. If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right

This goes for every part of life. One of my favorite quotes says, 

"In all of living have much of fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."  Gordon B. Hinckley

Take a break from the mundane of life and watch TV together, go on a walk, tell a joke, play a game, do something. As long as there are smiles on your face and you are together.

4. "Tell me about your day"

Be interested and invested in each other's lives. Especially the small details. In my opinion this is the simplest and best way to open up the doors of communication (which we all know is the key to a healthy relationship). So try it. Get past the meaningless "How was your day?" and get to the good stuff! :)

There are so many more ways to strengthen a relationship, but from experience I have seen the benefit of those 4 super simple things. The statistics and the world may be against us, but together we can overcome the odds and create a relationship that does not have an ending. This is where true joy is found. Who's with me?